Monday, 3 September 2012

Bis-Serjetà: Gay people urged to get a dog instead of getting married
By Karl Stennienibarra

The message comes after gay rights activists slammed the recently-launched cohabitation bill, expressing disappointment that it did not include any provisions for same sex partnerships.

Instead, the government is launching a scheme whereby gay people can benefit from tax breaks if they break up with their lovers and register their pets as spouses.

In a speech, Prime Minister Lawrence Gonzi said that the country was just not ready for fully-recognised homosexual partnerships, and this situation would only change once God communicated otherwise.

“There are those who would argue that a canine companion is no replacement for a human partner, but think about it. Dogs are loyal, cuddly, and you can take them out for walks. They also enjoy playing with squeaky toys and wearing collars, which I am told gay people love doing too,” the Prime Minister said.

Furthermore, we understand that people are different, so the pet doesn’t necessarily have to be a dog. It could be a cat or a hamster, or even an iguana. The important thing is that it doesn’t move around on two legs and share the same naughty bits as you.

Of course, this only applies if man’s best friend remains just a friend. We don’t approve of bestiality, even if it is better than gay sex. Eugh.”

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