12 ta' Lulju 2008
minn Patrick Attard
Nixtieq nibda biex ngħid prosit lil organizzaturi tal-Gay Pride.
Jien l-Spokesperson on Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual and Transgender on issues jew bil-malti: kelliem għal nies li huma… ‘hekk’.
Ma nafx kif il-Partit Nazzjonalista ma bagħtx lil David Casa illum, peress li s-Sur Casa tant jiġġieled kontra d-diskriminazzjoni fil-gay bars ta’ Brussell, imma jbati biex jikkundanna vjolenza, tortura u diskriminazzjoni fuq gays fil-parlament Ewropew.
Għalfejn illum hawn dan l-għaġeb kollu fuq iż-żwieġ jew partnership bejn koppji gay. Irriduh ghax ‘cool’ jew ghax pajjiżi oħrajn għandhom u rridu nagħmlu bħalhom? Ha ngħidilkom storja vera ta’ żewġ ħbieb tiegħi spanjoli li żżwewġu tlett snin ilu.
Juan u Toni ilhom flimkien erbatax il-sena. Iżżewġu meta fl-2005 Zapatero daħħal iż-żwieġ bejn koppji gay. Kien żwieġ vera umli. Marru ghaċ-ċerimonja b’tal-linja. Iċ-ċerimonja damet inqas minn tlett minuti u lanqas ċrieket ma taw lil xulxin. Wara marru b’tal-linja ġo restaurant biex jieklu mal-familji tagħhom.
Prof. Cassola (xellug) iżomm ritratt ta' Toni u Juan u Dr. Inġ. Patrick Attard.Mela għalfejn dan l-għageb kollu? X’hemm daqshekk importanti fil-partnership bejn gays.
Ftit snin ilu Juan qabdu kanċer go għajnu u din kellha titneħħa. Kien hemm ukoll biża' kbira li l-kanċer seta infirex f’ġismu.
Peress li l-Toni u Juan qed joqorbu l-erbgħin sena il-ġenituri tagħhom anzjani u ma tantx setgħu jgħinu. Toni talab ghal-leave mix-xogħol biex ikun ma’ Juan u dan ingħata il-leave mill-ewwel għax ir-raġel tiegħu kien marid. Hu kien dejjem miegħu fl-isptar u f’każ li l-affarijiet imorru hażin kien jigi mistoqsi fuq kull deċisjoni li tittieħed.
Għalhekk importanti l-urgent family leave jew il-bereavement leave fil-każ ta’ mewt. Jekk il-boss tiegħek ma jħallikx tieħu leave fl-aktar hin diffiċli fil-ħajja ikompli jżid it-trauma ta’ l-armel.
U għalhekk inweġġa meta qassissin qabel l-elezzjoni ħeġġu lin-nies biex ma jivvutawx ghal-Alternattiva għax favur id-drittjiet tal-koppji gay. Dan juri li forsi dawn il-qassissin ma fehmux eżatt fuq liema drittijiet qed nitkellmu u kemm bil-kliem iebes tagħhom jistgħu iweġġgħu nies.
Il-knisja dejjem tipprova żżomm l-imħabba bejn persuni gay bħala maħmuġa u lleġillittima peress li tikseb is-saħħa mis-sens ta’ ħtija u mistħija (guilt and shame) li tiprrova tnissel fin-nies. Madanakollu nafu li–knisja Maltija mhix pożżizzjoni li tkun il-boxla tal-moralita’ f’pajjiżna. Pereżempju importanti li ngħidu li nies li huma sseparati u qed ipoġġu jiġu mħeġġa mill-qassissin biex imorru jitqarbnu f’paroċċa il-bogħod mill-lokalita. Din hi ipokrizija kbira għax min jemmen fit-tqarbin jemmen li tqarbina f’parroċċa għandha l-istess effett bħal tqarbina f’paroċċa oħra u turi l-ipokrezija kbira li ngħamlu kollox għal għajn in-nies. Iktar minn hekk hu ta’ dispjaċir li nies li għaddejjin min separazzjoni ma’ jingħatawx xogħol bħala għalliema fi skejjel tal-knisja u aktar jsofru tbatija.
Ir-risultat ta’ dan it-tgħalim konfuż hu missier li fuq is-sodda tal-mewt tiegħu ma jkellimx lit-tifel tiegħu għax kien gay. Omm li tgħid li kieku kienet taf lit-tifel kien se jkun gay kienet tagħmel abort. Missier li jgħid li jippreferi kieku t-tifel kellu l-marda tal-kanċer milli jgħid li hu gay.
Jien is-sena l-oħra iltqajt ma’ l-E.T. Arċisqof Cremona u għidtlu x-xewqa kbira tiegħi li nies ta’ twemmin differenti jistgħu jghixu f’armonija fl-istess pajjiż.
Jien għidt lil Arcisqof li hawn familji li ilhom snin ma jieklu flimkien għax it-tifel ikun gay. Hemm waħda lizbjana li ilha aktar minn 15-il sena ma tiekol ikla ma familtha.
Jien issuggerejtlu biex fil-messaġġ li jirrekordja fi żmien il-Għid li jixxandar fil-knejjes bil-cassette biex iħeggeġ lin-nisa tad-dar jistiednu liġ-ġara isseparata għat-te' u t-tifel gay għall-ikla tal-Ħadd ta’ wara nofs in-nhar. L-Arcisqof dak in-nhar irrifjuta. Jien ħsibt li hu ha jifimni ghax hu bħali… ma jafx isajjar. Nixtieq nerġa nagħmillu appell biex jaghmel il-dan messaġġ biex vera nibnu pontijiet ta’ rieda tajba, u jekk 10 ommijiet jisimgħu minnu ikun diġa' għaqqad 10 familji.
Huwa importanti ngħidu li jekk ikun hemm partnership bejn koppji gay, dan mhu se jtellef xejn lil nies li ma jaqblux ma dan u mhux se ttelifhom milli jghixu ħajjithom bil-kwiet.
Irridu nqumu bil-wieqfa kontra l-ipokrizija u flimkien niġġieldu l-Injoranza, l-Intolleranza u l-Mibgheda, għax kif qalulna ftit ilu Flimkien Kollox Possibli!!
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I would like to say well done to the organisers of this gay pride march.
I am the spokesperson on Lesbian Gay Bi-sexual and Transgender issues, or in maltese, spokesperson for people who are like 'that'.
I dont know why the Nationalist Party didn´t send the MEP David Casa today, since Mr. Casa really fights against discrimination in the gay bars in Brussels but then fails to condemn violence, torture and discrimination on gays in the european parliament.
Why is there today such a fuss on gay marriage or civil partnership. Do we want it because it´s cool or we want to copy other countries? I'll tell you a true story of 2 spanish friends of mine who were married 3 years ago.
Juan and Toni have been together for 14 years. They got married when Zapatero introduced gay marriage. It was a very humble cermony. They went to the wedding by bus, the cermony lasted no more than 3 minutes and they didn´t even have rings. Afterwards they went by bus to eat in a restaurant with their families.
So why is there all this fuss? What is so important between a partnership between 2 gays.
A few years ago Juan had a cancer in his eye which had to be removed. There was a fear that the cancer might have spread to other parts of his body.
Since Toni and Juan are close to 40 years of age and their parents are getting old, their parents couldn´t help much. Toni asked for urgent family leave at work to be with Juan and it was given to him immediately because his husband was sick. He could stay in hospital and in case of difficulties he would be informed of any decision taken.
This is why the urgent family leave or bereavement leave are important in case of death. If your boss fails to give you the leave when the partner dies, it makes life more difficult and complicates the trauma of the surviving partner.
And this is why I was hurt when priests were encouraging the followers not to vote for AD before the election because we are in favour of gay rights. Maybe these priests didn´t understand what rights are we talking about and they can cause a lot of suffering with their harsh words.
The church always tries to keep the gay love as dirty and illegitimate since it gets its power from the sense of guilt and shame it tries to instil in its followers. On the other hand we know that the Maltese Church is not in a position to be the moral compass in our country. It is important to note that separated people who are co-habitating with a partner (note divorce is illegal) are not allowed to receive Holy communion in their local church and are encouraged to go to another locality far away. This is a huge hypocricy since those who believe in Holy Communion believe that the Communion in one Church has the same value as the Communion in another Church and shows that we do everything so that people don´t talk about us behind our back. Furthermore, it is sad that those persons who are currently separated and apply to work as a teacher is a church-school are not employed, increasing their suffering even further.
The result of this confused teaching is a father who on his deathbed doesn´t talk to his son because he is gay; a mother who says she would have had an abortion had she known her son would turn out to be gay; a father who prefers to have a son who is diagnosed with cancer, than a gay son.
Last year I met H.E. Archbishop Cremona and told him of my big wish that people of different beliefs can live in harmony in the same country.
I told the Archbishop that there are families who haven´t eaten together for a long time since their son is gay. There is a lesbian in particular who hasn´t had a lunch with her family for 15 years.
I suggested that in his message which he records during Easter time, which is played on cassette in all the Churches, that he should encourage the housewives to invite their separated neighbour for tea and their gay son for Sunday Lunch. That day the Archbishop refused. I thought he would understand me beacuse he, like me.... doesn´t know how to cook. I would to make the appeal again publicly so that we truly can build good-will bridges.
It is important to say that if there is a partnership between gay couples, this would not affect the lives of those who disagree with it and they can still live their life in peace.
We have to stand up against the hyprocricy and fight the ignorance, intolerance and hatred because as someone told us, "Everything is Possible when we stick together" (this was the PN- conservatives´- motto for the past election).
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