Monday, 9 January 2012

Times: About gay marriages

Monday, January 9, 2012 , by Norman E. Grech, Iklin

In times where the Maltese are finally accepting change and after the much desired “Yes to Divorce” victory, it is expected that attention of those who give a toss of what happens in our society will now focus on gay rights, zoning in on the right for gay marriages.

Like most of you out there “who give a toss” I have already had the opportunity to discuss this subject with people of opposing thoughts. I must say that when one truly takes in whatever everyone has to say, one starts to look at things differently.

My first reaction to gay marriage is a downright no! I have nothing against gay people; in fact, I have quite a few friends who are gay. If this is who they are, who am I to want them differently? They, too, should enjoy all important rights enjoyed by heterosexual persons.

However a marriage is between a man and a woman. Or is it? Why not call it a “union”? Then again, what’s in a name and in terminology as opposed to a way of life?

There is also the big question of “should gay people then be officially allowed to raise kids?” Aren’t children better off being brought up in an environment wherein they can “learn” mother and father roles? Different thoughts and ways of looking at this matter are surely exchanged here. I was recently rather intrigued by an argument made by a very good friend of mine who favours gay marriages and who has no problem having gay people raising kids.

The question of love and desire!

If two people (my friend argued) truly love each other and desire to share their lives, who are we to stop them? This argument of love and desire can also be applied to raising children. If two gay people can shower a child (whether adopted or biologically born to one of the couple) with love and attention, why should we stop this from happening? Wouldn’t they be better off from other kids in a “traditional marriage” which is in turmoil?

The question and my concern come out automatically: Where do we draw the line? My fear is that this could lead to another situation which until now has been completely disallowed in western countries. If a man truly loves and desires to live with two women, and each of the women honestly desire and love to share their lives with a man and another woman, should we then use the same argument?

And if these three people living together and who truly love and desire each other, also wish to raise children, what can we then say to that? In this unit, a raised child would have the possibility of witnessing a male and a female role. So in a way, the problem under the first scenario is lessened!

Society is truly evolving and one can argue that morals are directly related to “what we are accustomed to”, “what is traditionally accepted”. Sometimes, parameters enveloping what is right and wrong are vague.

[Click on the hyperlink above to view the comments on the Times' website.]

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