Wednesday, February 01, 2012 by Claudine Cassar
My message to all couples out there, whether straight or gay, is that if you are feeling frisky and there are kids about, please get a room.
Are parents who feel uncomfortable when their children see gay couples passionately kissing and groping each other in public discriminating against homosexuals?
Are parents who feel uncomfortable when their children see gay couples passionately kissing and groping each other in public discriminating against homosexuals?
It's been quite a week! It's very tempting to write yet another article about Franco Debono and his shenanigans, but I am sure that you have all had it up to here with the man's antics, so I shall ignore him. My feeling is that he will give us all cause to speculate once again in the near future, so we might as well take a Franco break while we still can.
Instead, I would like to talk about the attack on the two girls in Hamrun. I found the whole episode reprehensible. Violent attacks of any kind are always unacceptable, but there is something truly chilling about the thought that there are people who are so prejudiced that they need to lash out at anything that does not conform to their narrow interpretation of what is normal. I condemn the attack categorically and I hope that something will be done to ensure that there is proper legal protection against such hate crimes.
On a separate note, however, I have to admit that I was intrigued by the discussion that ensued on the comment boards regarding people's reactions to homosexuals engaging in public displays of affection (PDA). In one case a man described a situation where he could no longer go to a band club with his children because it is frequented by a number of lesbian couples who indulge in bouts of heavy petting. He clearly was not advocating violence against the couples in question, but he did say that he avoided the place when he was with his kids.
His comments evinced mixed reactions, including people who said that such behaviour was natural and that his kids had to get used to it. Others asked him why on earth homosexual couples should refrain from kissing and canoodling because of his children. Patrick Attard, an outspoken champion of homosexual rights, posted a link to his blog where he reproduced an article from It-Torca, where the author reported that police officers were confused as to how to react when someone called in to complain about gay couples kissing in public. Comments about his post referred to reactions to homosexual PDA as discrimination.
Unfortunately, much as I sympathise with homosexuals who feel stifled, I feel that the gay community needs to be a little more understanding on this point. I am all for gays being out and proud and I am the first one to say that a person's sexual orientation is his or her own business and that everyone has the right to happiness. As I have written in my column in the past, there are very real forms of discrimination against gay couples, and these must end. Clearly each and every one of us - whether straight or gay - has the right to choose his own partner, leave an inheritance to the person they love and also visit their loved ones in hospital.
However, are parents who feel uncomfortable when their children see gay couples passionately kissing and groping each other in public discriminating against homosexuals? In my opinion, they are not. It is hard to be a parent. As a mum I am very much aware that I have to prepare my kids for the world, helping them along the way to becoming open-minded individuals. I am very open with my children and I talk to them about different things, but the subject must be age-appropriate.
To give you an example of what I mean, I talk to them about not going off with strangers because sometimes children are stolen or hurt - but I would not sit them down to watch an episode of Medical Detectives where the victim was a child who was abducted and killed (in fact I try to avoid anything that smacks of blood, gore or excessive violence).
Similarly, I talk to them about mummy and daddy loving each other and making a baby, but change the channel if a sex scene starts to unfold. I have no problem with their watching Hannah Montana, where the characters talk excitedly about their first kiss, but I would not feel comfortable at the beach if the (heterosexual) couple on the towel next to ours suddenly started engaging in an over-the-top display of affection.
In the same vein, I have every intention to talk to them about homosexuality and to teach them that love can exist in many different forms... however if Scotty and Kevin (characters in the drama Brothers and Sisters) start kissing, I change the channel. Is that because I find the sight of two men kissing disgusting? Of course not! It is because I feel my children are still not mature enough to understand what is going on and I want them to be ready when we have the "homosexual" talk.
Discussing the birds and the bees is already difficult enough - even when done at home after having thought through a strategy on how to present the subject in an age-appropriate manner. You can imagine how much harder it would be if the discussion is suddenly foisted upon an unprepared parent while sipping a cappuccino in a coffee shop or trying to relax at the beach.
So my message to all couples out there, whether straight or gay, is this. If you are feeling overly frisky and there are kids about: PLEASE get a room!
[Click on the hyperlink above to view the comments on Malta Today's website.]
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