Times: Blogs: Marriage is the leading cause of divorce

http://www.timesofmalta.com/blogs/view/20090523/alison-bezzina/marriage-is-the-leading-cause-of-divorce
Saturday, 23rd May 2009 by Alison Bezzina

‘The human person is not an object, but a subject- who deserves respect.'

But ‘cohabitating couples should not be afforded the same status in the eyes of the law as their married counterparts.'

So it seems that not ALL humans are subjects who deserve respect, or at least, not the same levels of respect.

The first statement was uttered by Archbishop Emeritus Joseph Mercieca, whilst the second was penned by Gozo Bishop Mario Grech and to complete this divine comedy, Mgr Anton Gouder went on to say that ‘to hold the best interests of individuals and society at heart, the way forward is very clear: as a priority, to strengthen and support the family and marriage in all its stages, while giving the necessary assistance to individuals who are in other forms of relationships.'

For peace's sake! Haven't we been supporting the traditional family and traditional marriage forever and a day? Haven't we tried them all? Haven't we given married couples all the perks?

• Joint income tax returns for lower income brackets.
• Joint home loans.
• Wedding VAT refunds.
• Extra marriage leave.
• An entire court dedicated exclusively to marriage issues.
• Free family counselling.
• The automatic right to inherit each other's linen, debts and houses.
• Free marriage training at Ta Cana.

And what exactly have we ever done to support people in other forms or relationships? None of the above.

No wonder that the latest Lifestyle Survey (2007) issued by the NSO shows that marriage is still the preferred lifestyle choice with 195,708 (64%) people being married and only 6, 073 (1.9%) cohabitating.

Don't the numbers speak for themselves? We've made marriage look so attractive that the majority of people still want to find that special someone to annoy for the rest of their lives.

The same survey claims that married couples enjoy a standard of living that is 16 per cent better than that of their cohabitating counterparts, and probably as a direct result of this, they are also more satisfied with their lives to the tune of 12.5% more than cohabitating people.

So who in their right mind would want to cohabit if they were given the choice to get married? Chances are that many of those cohabitating are doing so because they cannot get married, either because they are in...shock horror....drum rolls.. same sex relationships, or because one or both parties have been previously married.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret, but these numbers prove that for reasons beyond my comprehension the majority want it, believe in it, and do their very best to get married with pomp and circumstance, and stay married. Even those who feel that their ex-spouse is as useless as an inflamed appendix which caused a lot of pain, still want to live happily ever after.

The truth is that only Adam and Even had a perfect marriage simply because he did not have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. All other marriages are subject to whatever life throws at them and unfortunately a few end up feeling like a triple coronary by-pass.

We can preach that couples who pray together stay together until we are blue in the face, but the truth is that some will also separate because of their religious differences - the husband will think he's God whilst the wife (and her mother) will beg to differ!

It is estimated that by 2015 more than 17% of all marriages will fail, which means that more people will go back to living in single households and dying alone, or cohabitating and falling 12.5% in their ‘lifestyle satisfaction' scale.

So now a government-commissioned Think Tank is proposing the introduction of divorce on a ‘no fault' basis. This means that no matter whose fault the break up is, both parties are treated equally - in other words - you don't get screwed for the screw you got!

I don't know about you but surely you must agree that if a marriage fails, it would better if a couple could consider the option of divorce rather than worse.

[Click on the hyperlink above to view the comments on the Times' website.]

Pink News: Churches to be banned from turning down gay staff

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-12537.html

By Jessica Geen • May 21, 2009 - 12:11

Churches will be forced to accept gay youth workers and other staff

53 Comments on Churches to be banned from turning down gay staff

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Religious groups are to be forced to accept gay youth workers, secretaries and other staff under new anti-discrimination laws.

Church leaders had hoped to be able to push for exemptions from the new laws but deputy equalities minister Maria Eagle has said the laws will cover almost all church employees.

Previously, any roles necessary "for the purposes of an organised religion" are exempt for gay protection laws.

But the Equality Bill will define this as applying only to those who lead the liturgy or spend the majority of the time teaching doctrine, such as ministers, bishops and their equivalents.

Speaking at the Faith, Homophobia, Transphobia, & Human Rights conference in London, Eagle said: "The circumstances in which religious institutions can practice anything less than full equality are few and far between.

"While the state would not intervene in narrowly ritual or doctrinal matters within faith groups, these communities cannot claim that everything they run is outside the scope of anti-discrimination law.

"Members of faith groups have a role in making the argument in their own communities for greater LGBT acceptance, but in the meantime the state has a duty to protect people from unfair treatment."

Mike Judge of the Christian Institute said: “The Government’s own explanation of the Bill clearly says churches must accept homosexuals as church youth workers.

“The Bill says nothing about the difference between an active homosexual and someone who has left the lifestyle but still experiences some same-sex attraction. This distinction is crucial for Christians.”

A Government Equalities Office spokesman said: "The Equality Bill will not force a church to accept someone as a priest regardless of their sexual orientation or gender.

"Churches, synagogues, mosques and others will continue to have the freedom to choose who they employ in jobs which promote their religion. But where they provide services to the public they will have to treat everyone fairly."

Times: Video interview: Hunters were not given the full truth - Micallef Stafrace

http://www.timesofmalta.com/mepelections/blogs/kirill-micallef-stafrace/20090522/video-interview-hunters-were-not-given-the-full-truth-micallef-stafrace
22.5.9

«Click on the hyperlink above to watch the video and see the comments on the Times' website.»

Labour candidate Kiril Micallef Stafrace admits that economic affairs are not his strong point, but, he says, Malta's performance shows it is not the Prime Minister's either.

Dr Micallef Stafrace insists that Malta is full up with regard to illegal immigration and Malta needs a good relationship with Libya.

He also replies to questions on hunting, cohabitation and state subsidies to industries, saying the safeguarding jobs is always best policy.

Times: One cannot ignore that new ‘family concepts' are emerging - Abela Baldacchino

http://www.timesofmalta.com/mepelections/view/20090522/news/one-cannot-ignore-that-new-family-concepts-are-emerging-abela-baldacchino

22.5.9

"In the European Parliament I will protect the stability of local families, though I understand those who weren't as lucky to experience it." This comment was made by Labour MEP candidate Claudette Abela Baldacchino when she called on Archbishop Paul Cremona.

During the meeting she presented the Archbishop the draft of the report about the fight against discrimination which she prepared for the European Commission on behalf of the Regional Committee of the EU.

Ms Abela Baldacchino explained that the report positively notes that the proposed directive against discrimination does not dispute the relationship between the State and the Church or any other organisation when it comes to teachings and laws that have to do with family status, reproductive rights, adoptions, and other such issues. She stressed that one cannot ignore the fact that new concepts of what a family is, are emerging.

She said that the report highlights the importance and responsibility the media have when debating diversity and children as the fulcrum of social politics. The same should be done with families and elderly people, she said.

Archbishop Cremona said that there is a need of a moral and personal strength so that the families remain strong even in difficult times. He said that the need to seriously protect and promote the Maltese and Gozitan families is being felt now more than ever. The Archbishop explained how it was not enough that one speaks about the structure of the family unless there is, in parallel, a campaign that favours unwavering marriages and loyalty among our families.

Both Ms Abela Baldacchino and the Archbishop agreed that there was a need to positively promote ethical family values.

[Click on the hyperlink above to view the comments.]

Reporter: Dr Inġ. Patrick Attard and Mgr Anton Gouder

Reporter minn Saviour Balzan. Iż-żewġ programmi jittrataw il-ktieb "The Catholic Church and Homosexuality" li kien irtirat mill-ixkafef tal-Media Centre tal-Knisja Kattolika Maltija.

YouTube: Patrick Attard - March 12 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQJueS4ztcg#t=4m55s

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YouTube: Dun Anton Gouder 13 March 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGnnG64ugOo

The reason why the Pope is WRONG on condoms

[Għafas hawn għall-verżjoni bil-Malti.]

19.5.9 By Dr Ing. Patrick Attard

The Catholic Church teaches that any form of sex which is not within a marriage with the intention of procreation is a grave sin against chastity. Thus the use of condoms, sex between unmarried cohabitating couples, oral sex, anal sex, masturbation and sex between people of the same gender all fall within this category. Thus the Catholic Church cannot approve the use of condoms without a thorough revision of its teachings on sexuality.

Whilst it is understandable that Pope Benedict XVI would disapprove the use of condoms for the above reasons he should refrain from spreading inaccurate information about this life-saving aid [Video in Italian; English Audio Translation]. In fact his comments even drew strong opposition from the Lancet Medical Journal and the Belgian Parliament which passed a motion of protest on the Pope’s remarks.

But what is the fuss about?
If one were to look at the issue from a mathematical point of view, if a seat belt would be 90 to 95% efficient, one would be a fool not to wear one in the car. However if someone forgot to wear a seatbelt once last week, this would have no effect on its prevention of reducing injuries in the event of an accident next week. However, since the condom deals with contagious diseases the matter is completely different since if someone didn’t use one last month, it can have strong re-percussions on the future.

It is best to explain this with an example. Consider in the pyramid above where one man has sex with 10 woman in 5 years (numbers are used to clarify the example). In the next 5 years each woman has sex with 10 men, leading to a total of 100 men. If this pattern is repeated in the same way, in 35 years there will be 10,000,000 people in the bottom tier of the pyramid.

Now consider that the person at the top of the pyramid was infected with HIV which leads to AIDS. He used a condom which is for example 90% efficient and thus one of the 10 women was infected. The ten women in the second tier of the pyramid all had sex with 10 men, and each had a condom failure but since 9 of the women were not infected, they did not pass the virus. The 10th woman however was infected and even though she did not pass the virus to 9 of the men, the 10th man was infected when the condom failed. In this way by continuing the same pattern, a total of 8 people would be infected in 35 years.

Now in the case where no condoms where used, the infected man infected the 10 women with whom they had sexual relationships. They in turn infected the 100 men they had sex with in the next five years who in turn infected the 1000 women they had sex with in the years after that. In a 35 year span, one infection would lead to 11,111,111 infections i.e. more than 11 million infections. This is a huge difference from the 8 people infected when condoms where used.

The numbers of the pyramids above were used to illustrate the example. The pyramid would be very narrow or non-existent in case of monogamous relationships, but on the other hand it would be very wide if sex-workers get infected.

Whilst believers can repent and confess and their sins absolved, the issue is not so simple for the person infected with the virus and the health-care system of the country could be in jeaopardy if no cheap cure is found for the illness.

The Pope’s message, when he talked about the case that condoms actually increase the spread of the disease on the flight on his way to Cameroon must have been along the same reasoning that people who wear seat-belts might tend to drive more recklessly due to the added safety factor and an added sense of security. However, in the light of contagious diseases where millions of people can be infected through mis-information, it would irresponsible for a leader of such huge community not to inform himself properly before talking on such a delicate subject.

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If you disagree with the Pope, write him a letter or email with your opinion:

Pope Benedict XVI

Prefettura della Casa Pontificia
00120 Città del Vaticano

email: benoitxvi@vatican.va

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Related articles:

Times: 'Stop misquoting Pope on condoms' – Mgr Anton Gouder
Times: Interview with Mgr Gouder: We're a soft target

Times: Condom use in Africa and elsewhere

Interesting Comment in the first article above:

George M Sant
It would be instructive to learn the source of the research that allegedly supports the Pope's contentions about condoms and HIV. It seems so contrary to research published in scientific journals. The WHO bluntly considered "These incorrect statements...are dangerous when we are facing a global pandemic, which has already killed more than 20 million people". A leading editorial in The Lancet, one of the world's leading medical journals, questioned whether the Pope's "error" was "due to ignorance or a deliberate attempt to manipulate science to support Catholic ideology", and called for a retraction. The director of the WHO's HIV department asserted "there is no scientific evidence showing that condom use spurs people to take more sexual risks....condoms are highly (effective) to prevent the transmission of HIV". Quentin Sattentau, Professor of Immunology at Oxford summarised the "large body of published evidence demonstrating that condom use reduces the risk of acquiring HIV infection, but does not lead to increased sexual activity". If there is evidence to the contrary, that is scientific, factual, objective and verifiable, as opposed to indoctrinated opinion, then it should be published so that a balanced picture can be obtained and any erroneous course corrected.

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Further Reading:

- Truth and Consequence: A LOOK BEHIND THE VATICAN’S BAN ON CONTRACEPTION

- African Times: Infallible and Incorrigible - On his first Africa visit, Pope Benedict XVI reaffirmed the Vatican’s disastrous AIDS policy – By Bartholomäus Grill

Illum: Għaliex il-Papa m’għandux raġun dwar il-kondoms

[Click here for English version.]

http://www.illum.com.mt/2009/05/17/l1.html
17 ta’ Mejju 2009 Nr 133; minn Dr. Patrick Attard, Naxxar 

(Tradotta għall-Malti minn Dr Harry Vassallo)

Il-Knisja Kattolika tgħallem li kull xorta ta’ sess mhux fi żwieġ u mhux bil-ħsieb għall-prokreazzjoni hu dnub gravi kontra l-kastità. Għalhekk l-użu ta’ kondoms bejn koppji mhux mizżżewġa u bejn koppji tal-istess sess jaqgħu f’din il-kategorija.

Għalhekk il-Knisja Kattolika ma tistax tapprova l-użu tal-kondom mingħajr ma tagħmel reviżjoni mill-qiegħ tad-dottrina tagħha dwar is-sesswalità. Waqt li wieħed kellu jobsor li l-Papa Benedettu ma japprovax l-użu tal-kondom għal dawn ir-raġunijiet imissu joqgħod lura milli

 jxerred informazzjoni żbaljata dwar dan il-mezz li jsalva l-ħajja. Fil-fatt il-kummenti tiegħu lill-ġurnalisti waqt il-vjaġġ tiegħu lejn il-Cameroon ġibed lejh oppożizzjoni qawwija mill-Lancet Medical Journal u mill-Parlament Belġjan li għadda mozzjoni ta’ protesta għar-rimarki tal-Papa.

Iżda x’inhu dan l-għaġeb kollu?

Jekk inħarsu lejn din il-kwistjoni mil-lenti matematika, jekk is-seatbelt f’karozza nistgħu ngħodduh effiċjenti f’livell ta bejn 90-95%, wieħed ikun iblaħ li ma jilbsux.

Madankollu jekk xi ħadd nesa jilbsu darba fil-ġimgħa li għaddiet dan in-nuqqas ma kien ikollu l-ebda effett biex inaqqas il-probabbiltà ta’ inċident fil-ġimgħa li ġejja. Iżda peress li l-kondom għandu x’jaqsam ma’ mard li jittieħed, il-kwistjoni hi mod ieħor għal kollox: il-fatt li xi ħadd ma wżax kondom ix-xahar li għadda jista’ jkollu riżultati qawwija ’l quddiem.

Il-Piramida tal-AIDS

L-aħjar li dan infissruh b’eżempju bħal dak ta’ hawn fuq li fih raġel kellu x’jaqsam sesswalment ma’ 10 nisa f’5 snin (iċ-ċifri jiċċaraw l-eżempju). Fil-ħames snin ta’ wara kull mara minnhom ikollha x’taqsam sesswalment ma’ 10 rġiel li jwassal għal total ta’ 100 raġel. B’dan il-mod f’35 sena se jkun hemm 10,000,000 ruħ fil-qiegħ tal-piramida.

Il-Piramida tal-AIDS

Issa nieħdu l-każ li l-persuna fil-quċċata tal-piramida kienet infettata bl-HIV li jwassal għall-AIDS u li uża kondom li hu effiċjenti fil-livell ta’ 90% u b’hekk mara waħda minn dawk l-10 ġiet infettata. L-10 nisa fit-tieni saff kollha kellhom x’jaqsmu ma’ 10 rġiel u f’kull każ il-kondom ma ħadimx darba ghal kull waħda minnhom. Peress li disgħa nisa ma kinux infettati ma għaddewx il-virus. L-10 mara kienet infettata u għalkemm m’għaddietx il-virus lil disa’ rġiel, l-10 raġel ġie nfettat meta l-kondom ma ħadimx. B’dan il-mod f’35 sena jiġu nfettati tmienja minn nies.

Fil-każ li ma jintużawx kondoms, ir-raġel infettat infetta lill-10 nisa li kellu x’jaqsam magħhom. Huma nfettaw lill-100 raġel li kellhom x’jaqsmu magħhom fil-ħames snin ta’ wara li huma wkoll infettaw l-1,000 mara li kellhom x’jaqsmu magħhom fis-snin ta’ wara. F’temp ta’ 35 sena

 infezzjoni waħda kienet twassal għal 11,111,111 infezzjoni. Din hi qabża kbira ħafna mit-8 każi ta’ infezzjoni bil-marda meta ntużaw il-kondoms.

Il-Piramida tal-AIDS

Il-piramidi ta’ hawn fuq intużaw biex ifissru l-eżempju. Il-piramida kienet tkun dejqa ħafna jew ineżistenti fil-każ ta’ relazzjonijiet monogamy iżda wiesa’ ħafna jekk jiġu nfettati dawk li jaħdmu fis-sess.

Waqt li min jemmen jista’ jindem u jqerr dnubietu u jingħata l-assoluzzjoni l-kwistjoni mhix daqshekk sempliċi għal min hu nfettat u s-sistema tal-kura tas-saħħa tista’ tiġi mhedda jekk ma tinstabx kura rħisa ta’ din il-marda.

Il-messaġġ tal-Papa meta semma li l-kondoms iżidu fit-tixrid tal-marda kien raġunament bħal dak ta’ min jaħseb li min jilbes seatbelt isuq iżjed bl-addoċċ minħabba li jħossu iżjed protett. Madankollu fil-każ ta’ mard li jittieħed li fih jistgħu jiġu nfettati miljuni ta’ nies minħabba l-informazzjoni żbaljata, ikun irresponsabbli għal mexxej ta’ komunità hekk kbira li ma jkunx infurmat kif jixraq qabel ma jitkellem dwar suġġett tant delikat.

Montreal Gazette: Quebec at the forefront of gay rights movement - Anti-homophobia day has spread around the world

http://www.montrealgazette.com/life/quebec%20forefront%20rights%20movement/1606097/story.html

18.5.9 by BY MARIAN SCOTT, THE GAZETTE

 

Alexis Musanganya speaks at the annual anti-homophobia day gathering in Lafontaine Park yesterday.

Photograph by: ALLEN MCINNIS, THE GAZETTE, The Gazette

About 50 countries took part yesterday in a fête founded in Quebec to combat discrimination against gays.

"It makes me really happy to see how the idea has caught on," said Laurent McCutcheon, founder and president of Emergence Foundation, organizer of the International Day against Homophobia.

The group started the provincially funded event in 2003. It spread to Belgium in 2004 and to the rest of Canada and France the following year.

More than 150 people rallied in Lafontaine Park, where members of the Groupe de recherche et d'intervention social (GRIS) raised a rainbow flag symbolizing diversity.

It's not surprising the event started here; Quebecers tend to be liberal on social issues, McCutcheon said. "We are one of the most welcoming and open-minded societies," he said.

This year's theme, "Homosexuality knows no borders," counters the view in some cultures that homosexuality exists only in western countries.

Six groups representing gays and lesbians from different cultural communities took part in the local event.

"In our culture, homophobia is very present," said Rémy Nassar, president of Helem ("dream"), which represents gays and lesbians of Lebanese origin.

Homosexuality is a crime punishable by prison in Lebanon, Nassar noted. In some Muslim countries, it carries a death sentence, he added.

Homophobia is at least as prevalent in Montreal's Lebanese community as in Lebanon itself, Nassar said, noting that immigrant communities often tend to cling to conservative values.

"We hear comments like, 'You're the shame of your country,' " he said.

Nassar, 29, said he once heard an acquaintance who did not know he was gay remark that gays should be herded together and blown up.

Yesterday, a half dozen members of Helem handed out pamphlets at the Guy-Concordia métro station and last night it sponsored a film and a report on gays and lesbians in Lebanon.

The Emergence Foundation made public a survey by Léger Marketing that found the children of immigrants are much more favourable to homosexuality than their parents, with 48 per cent of the parents saying homosexuality is an illness vs. 24 per cent of the next generation.

The margin of error of the poll, based on 500 interviews, is 2.6 per cent, 19 times out of 20.

Alexis Musanganya, president of Arc en ciel d'Afrique, said he barely escaped being beaten in a local African club three years ago for being gay. He said his brother stepped in to rescue him.

Musanganya, 35, who is from Rwanda, said he would not have dared to come out as a gay in his homeland.

"After having suffered and taken a lot of risks to get here, we should not go back into the closet," he said. "You are in a country where you can live your sexuality."

[Click on the hyperlink above to view the comments.]

Illum: Il-familja llum

http://www.illum.com.mt/2009/05/17/emm.html
17.5.9 minn Emmanual Micallef

Familja b’saħħitha. Nazzjon b’saħħtu. Hekk smajna dejjem u hekk emminna. Fi sfond reliġjuż konna nifhmu li l-familja hi l-koppja miżżewġa u l-ulied li jgħixu taħt l-istess saqaf. Jekk din il-forma ta’ familja kienet tinkiser allura nibdew nitkellmu dwar kif il-pajjiż qiegħed jitkisser. Is-saħħa tal-familja ma kinitx titkejjel biss mil-lat materjali iżda anke mil-lat morali.

Sa ċertu punt ukoll, meta konna nirreferu għal familja, ma kellniex ħlief interpretazzjoni waħda tad-definizzjoni ta’ familja. Żgur li ma konniex niddistingwu bejn x’tifhem b’familja l-Knisja u x’jifhem b’familja l-Istat. Anke fi żmien iktar reċenti fejn iddeċidejna li nagħmlu distinzjoni netta bejn il-liġijiet tal-Knisja u dawk Ċivili.

Fil-każ tal-familja kollox tfajna f’keffa waħda. Iżda kif jgħidu ż-żmien isajru l-bajtar u llum ma nistgħux ngħidu li din id-definizzjoni ta’ familja għadha valida kif kienet żmien ilu. Jekk irridu naraw is-sitwazzjoni reali u mhux nibqgħu nibbażaw ħsibijietna fuq ideologiji rridu nammettu li llum għandna forom oħra ta’ familji minbarra dik kif inhi rikonoxxuta tradizzjonalment.

Għalhekk ma nistgħux nibqgħu napplikaw liġijiet u prattiċi li intrinsikament huma marbutin mad-definizzjoni assoluta ta’ familja kif kienet sa ftit taż-zmien ilu. Irridu naġġornaw u naħsbu biex iċ-ċittadini ma jsofrux minn diskriminazzjoni u nġustizzja sempliċiment għax m’għarfux ir-realtà tal-lum.

Qabel xejn żgur li rridu nifirdu r-reliġjuż mil-lajk. Ma nistgħux noqogħdu nilagħbu bis-sentimenti reliġjużi u nittrattaw dan is-suġġett mil-lat morali biss. Iktar minn kull ħtieġa oħra rridu nkunu prattiċi u nindirizzaw l-esperjenzi u s-sitwazzjonijiet reali. Dak li jgħaddu minnu ta’ kuljum il-familji tal-lum.

Il-Knisja għandha kull dritt li tibqa’ żżomm mal-pożizzjoni tagħha skont twemminha. Għandha dritt li tkompli tgħallem u ssemma leħenha. Għandha d-dmir li tinforma u teduka liċ-ċittadini, l-aktar dawk li jħaddnu t-twemmin tagħha, dwar x’inhi u x’għandha tkun familja.

Iżda l-istess responsabbiltajiet u dmirijiet jaqgħu fuq spallejn l-Istat. L-Istat ukoll irid iħares l-interessi taċ-ċittadini kollha rrispettivament mit-twemmin reliġjuż tagħhom. Għandu obbligu li jiddefendi lil kull min jifforma parti minn gruppi minoratorji. Naturalment mhux a skapitu ta’ min qiegħed f’maġġoranza. Iżda bl-istess mod l-Istat hu fi dmir li jsib il-bilanċ meħtieġ biex ma jħalli ’l ħadd jaqa’ lura.

L-Istat ikun qed jidneb jekk jaf b’ċittadini li qed ibatu inġustizzji minħabba liġijiet antikwati jew pressjonijiet reliġjużi u jibqa’ ma jagħmel xejn. Ikun qed jikkommetti dnub sagrileġġ jekk jaf li l-familja llum inbidlet u jibqa’ jqis lill-familja daqslikieku għadna ngħixu 50 sena ilu. Iktar u iktar meta jaf li hemm tfal li qed ibatu intortament. Għalhekk f’pajjiż lajk ma nistgħux nittolleraw sitwazzjoni fejn l-Istat jibqa’ ndifferenti quddiem ir-realtà tal-lum.

X’inhi din ir-realtà? Għandna familji li għandhom il-barka ta’ żwieġ nisrani. Għandna familji tajbin frott iż-żwieġ ċivili. Għandna familji b’ġenitur wieħed bħal fil-każ tas-single parents u r-romol. Għandna familji bil-ġenituri jagħżlu li jikkoabitaw. Għandna familji li rnexxew fit-tieni żwieġ b’ġenituri divorzjati. U dan minbarra li għandna żgħażagħ li għażlu li jmorru jgħixu għal rashom u koppji tal-istess sess li jgħixu flimkien.

Dawn huma familji li qed ibatu minn lat jew ieħor għax m’għandniex liġijiet f’posthom li jiddefenduhom. Għalhekk l-Istat għandu r-responsabbiltà urġenti, ngħid jien, biex jirrattifika l-pożizzjoni tagħhom fil-konfront tal-liġijiet ċivili. Il-politiċi ilhom s-snin jitmejlu b’dawn iċ-ċittadini. Saħansitra saru wegħdiet elettorali fil-konfront ta’ wħud minnhom. Sal-lum stess għadna nisimgħu rapporti ħerġin mill-partiti biex jgħidulna (iżda mhux biex jimplimentaw) li għandhom qalbhom perżuta għal dawn il-forom ġodda ta’ familji. F’din il-ħaġa żgur li m’għandniex kredenzjali Ewropej!

Minflok naraw bis-serjetà x’hemm bżonn isir u nwettquh, noqogħdu nxerrdu d-dmugħ tal-kukkudrilli u nxerrdu l-kultura tal-biża’. Jekk irridu nsaħħu l-familja mhux noqogħdu nallarmaw lill-poplu bil-każi ta’ separazzjonijiet u bi dħul tad-divorzju iżda rridu nemendaw il-liġijiet u ninfurzawhom bla telf taż-żmien.

Nagħmlu dan mhux qisna qed nagħtu xi amnestija imma għax verament nemmnu li rridu nsewwu l-inġustizzji li qegħdin isiru, għax nemmnu fit-tisħiħ tal-familja f’soċjetà moderna u għax ma rridux nabdikaw mir-responsabiltajiet li għandna lejn iċ-ċittadin.

Dak li ħareġ mir-rapport tat-think tank ta’ The Today Public Policy Institute, fejn fost affarijiet oħra jsemmi kif f’10 snin il-każi ta’ separazzjonijiet żdiedu b’aktar minn 7,000, ikompli jikkonvinċini kemm il-ħtieġa li nsaħħu l-familji tal-lum hi urġenti. Il-Gvern u l-Oppożizzjoni jemmnu li familja b’saħħitha tfisser nazzjon b’saħħtu? Mela x’qed jistennew?

Time: Russia to Gays: Get Back into the Closet

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1899340,00.html

18.5.9 by MARINA KAMENEV / MOSCOW

Police detain Russian gay-rights leader Nikolai Alexeyev during an unsanctioned gay-rights protest in Moscow on May 16, 2009

Alexander Natruskin / Reuters

Being gay is not supposed to be a crime in Russia. Homosexuality was decriminalized in 1993; six years later, the law that sent gays and lesbians to psychiatric wards was annulled. But Russia would still rather have its homosexual citizenry invisible — and silent. Nikolai Alexeyev knows that very well. He's just been released from jail for trying to organize a gay-rights demonstration in Moscow.

Alexeyev, 31, had decided to stage a gay-pride march to take advantage of the spotlight Moscow was enjoying for playing host to the Eurovision finals over the weekend. "We want equal rights. We don't want to be discriminated against," the director of Gayrussia.ru said a couple of days before the parade. "Many Eurovision fans are gay, and they will be watching what happens to us." Wary of the government of Moscow's openly homophobic mayor Yuri Luzhkov (a similar march two years ago had somehow ended in violence as neo-Nazis and religious groups attacked demonstrators), Alexeyev used guerrilla tactics and, at the last minute, moved the parade from Moscow's center, farther north to Sparrow Hills. (Read about the results of the 2009 Eurovision finals.)

At the same time, an anti-gay demonstration sanctioned by Moscow's government was taking place near a metro station in the central part of the Russian capital. Protesters held up signs saying, "Moscow is not Sodom." Vladimir Terechenko, a refrigerator repairman, said he tells his sons repeatedly that if they come out as homosexuals he will kill them. "Homosexuality is the end of civilization. They are pale, they are sickly, and they smell," he said. He echoes the opinions of Luzhkov, who has said homosexuality is a disease that needs to be treated, has called gays satanic and has vowed that there will never be a gay parade in Moscow. Despite the violent beliefs and the hateful messages of the anti-gay protesters, they were left untouched by Russian riot police, who sat meekly in their vans during the demonstration. (See pictures of Russia celebrating its military might.)

Not so at Alexeyev's march. There, an estimated 30 protesters unwrapped rainbow banners and chanted for less than half a minute before Moscow riot police rounded up and arrested everyone involved. Alexeyev, who came to the parade accompanied by a man in a bride's dress, was swiftly carried off by riot police. One woman, who was surrounded by cameras, was grabbed by riot police as she was giving interviews, her shirt torn on the way to the police bus. Peter Tatchell, a British gay-rights activist, flew to Moscow for the event. He was speaking to reporters before he too was arrested. "This shows Russian people are not free," he told reporters.

Alexeyev was held overnight in prison and was interrogated for hours at a time. "The psychological pressure was overwhelming," he told TIME. "This was by far the worst treatment from the police that I have ever received." He has been arrested four times since starting Gayrussia.ru in 2005. Still, Alexeyev says he will not stop until gay and lesbian couples have the same rights as all other Russians. "We want the right to adopt children and the right to get married." His work has come at a price. When he came out at 22, he was in the middle of pursuing a master's degree in law. But when he announced that the topic of his thesis would be gay-rights legislation in Europe, he was expelled. Says he: "There is a homophobic totalitarian past in Russia, while in the present, there is this huge influence of the Orthodox Church, and Russian authorities are doing nothing to stop homophobia."

In between protests, Alexeyev works with human-rights lawyers to defend gay rights within Russia's bureaucratic court system. Last week a lesbian couple in Moscow was refused the right to get married; Alexeyev plans to take the case to court. He has had some success with legislation. Last year his activism helped change a law that barred gays and lesbians from donating blood. Alexeyev speaks regularly to gay groups outside Moscow to promote his message of equal rights. "Moscow and St. Petersburg is one thing," he says. "There are clubs and communities [in the big cities,] but being gay in a Russian small town is scary."

The fear is pervasive. In Moscow, Viktor, 28, says, "My family does not know I am gay. I am open about it to anyone that asks, but I would never tell my parents. I don't know what my mother would do, but I know my father openly hates homosexuals." Like many gay men, Viktor didn't want to attend the parade on Saturday. "I just want to be treated like everyone else, and going around and screaming I am gay isn't going to help me." Says Sergei, who is married to a woman but advertises for liaisons with men on gay dating sites: "Being gay is just not considered normal like in the West. In Russia there are just no good [gay] role models. No normal people who happen to be gay."

If Alexeyev had hoped that the Eurovision finals would help his cause, he was wrong. The events were treated with an awkward silence from Eurovision organizers. The Dutch team had threatened to pull out of the competition if the parade was banned, but the team did not qualify for the finals. And the Norwegian winner, Alexander Rybak, patronizingly told a press conference, "I think it's a little bit sad that they chose to have the protest today. They spent all their energy on that parade, while the biggest gay parade in the world [an allusion to the campy performances of the contest] was tonight." (See a recap of Eurovision through the years.)

Nevertheless, Alexeyev tries to find a silver lining to the suppression of his march. "We changed the location of the march at the last minute so that we wouldn't be attacked by anti-gay groups like previous years," he says. "This is the first year that no one was seriously injured in the parade." In gay Russia, that counts for an achievement.

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See also:

YouTube: Police break up Moscow gay march [BBC Footage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGDy922aGxI